God is doing such wonders in my life and the lives of others, it is truly amazing. Come Saturday night, I was overwhelmed with the amount of love that I had felt throughout the day from all my friends. Through their party planning, conversations and their giving hearts it was a great day to say the least. I am just so thankful for every person that was there. It is going to be a long journey, but this weekend was such a wonderful start for my finances for my trip.
As the weekend was coming to the end I was feeling very overwhelmed by my gracious friends. I was feeling that I wasn't giving enough, that there was something more I needed to do. This morning as I was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, God was weighing something on my heart.
Plain and simple, I am a giver. I like to give my time, my help, my advice, etc...What I do not like (or shall I say, I feel uncomfortable when) I receive things. Plain and simple, I am not a good receiver. Whenever I receive, I always feel selfish, unworthy in a way--Do you know what I am saying?--I almost feel, no not almost, I do feel that I am not deserving of certain things in my life and it is hard for me to accept things.
Needless to say, all of these thought process's have been running through my mind for the last two days and I am finally at peace with the outcome of it all:
"Give liberally and be ungrudging when you do so, for on this account the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake." (15:10)
'When Jesus sent out His twelve disciples (Luke 9:3), he told them to "take nothing for the journey- no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic." Why do you suppose he said this? Why not let them run home and grab a few supplies? Why not allow them to bring some money along just in case?
Jesus was forcing his disciples to trust Him. God would have to come through for them because they had nothing else to fall back on.' -Francis Chan Crazy Love
So I have decided that I am going to give away anything that I feel that God wants me to give and I mean anything. My bedroom set is the first to go. What an abundance amount of joy I will have when I can give something of mine to others. As I continue to pray, I pray that God reveals what I can give, to whom, to impact their life in a positive way.
Yes, I still have a lot more to fund-raise, and I could easily sell my things for money towards my trip but I choose to trust in God and his provision and part of that provision is surrendering everything to him. God wants us to follow him. He wants to show us how he cares for us. He wants to be our refuge.
"Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth."
Glory to God in the highest. I thank him so much for directing my every step!
